Journal, Walk the Walk

On Love and Respect

What do you do when you love and care about someone? Do you call them names? Say things or use language that you know will offend them? Ridicule, criticize, and disrespect them? Bully them, harass them, belittle them? NO. Because that’s called VERBAL ABUSE, and when you love and care about someone YOU DON’T DO THAT.

What do you do when you love and care about someone? Do you control and manipulate them, dangling your approval and affection like a carrot before them while wielding your disapproval like a lash? Do you lord your power over them, while emphasizing their own powerlessness, so things go your way? NO. Because that’s called EMOTIONAL ABUSE, and when you love and care about someone YOU DON’T DO THAT.

What do you do when you love and care about someone? Do you physically intimidate them? Do you push them? Do you restrain them to keep them from walking away? Do you throw things at them? Do you slap, punch, or kick them? NO. Because that’s called PHYSICAL ABUSE, and when you love and care about someone YOU DON’T DO THAT.

What do you do when you love and care about someone? Well, I know this may come as a shock, a SHOCK! to some people, but what you’re supposed to do is LOVE THEM and CARE ABOUT THEM! Sure, if you think they’re headed into danger you want to intervene, make sure they’re making good decisions and life choices. But when they make choices you don’t approve of, or agree with, YOU LOVE THEM MORE. You embrace and nurture the best in them, the good in them, nourish their spirit, encourage them to be better.

I’ve dealt with too many domestic violence situations, too many stalkers, too many bad breakups, too many abuses of authority, too many control freaks, too many people with emotional issues that they projected onto other people, to have any tolerance whatsoever for this sort of crap. None. Period. Sure, I’m not perfect. I’ve said hurtful things in anger. I didn’t make a career out of it. I didn’t make it a lifestyle choice. Because to run a relationship with another person in that manner is sick. Seriously, seek help. I’ll go so far as to say that what you’ve got there isn’t love at all. It’s certainly not caring. Love is unconditional. What you’ve got there is selfishness as best, some sort of sociopathy at worst. There’s a serious lack of empathy there.

Of course, some control freak, some tin dictator, some macho man, some damaged self-esteem case who builds him (or her)self up by tearing other people down is going to read this and take umbrage. To which I say: BRING IT. I’ve dealt with plenty of your kind. You’re not at all unique. I don’t recognize your authority. Your words can’t hurt me, because I couldn’t care less about your opinion. I’m well aware of my own shortcomings; why don’t you just make a crack about my weight or age or ethnicity, you GENIUS you. Wanna get physical? Maybe you can beat my ass, but I’ll give as good as I get and I won’t back down. I’m not afraid of bullies.

I’m tired of enabling these m…m…m…onkeyfighters. No more. I call SHENANIGANS. I say HEY, KNOCK THAT CRAP OFF. I say NO MORE! I’m not putting up with this junk because it might lead to more drama. Because putting up with it has so far kept life so very DRAMA FREE, right? I’m tired of walking on eggshells around the maladjusted miscreants. I’m tired of keeping the peace. WRONG IS WRONG.

Rant out of my system now. Not directed at anyone in particular, but the general vibe has reached critical mass. Be good to each other.

Illegitimi non carborumdum.

About Berin Kinsman

Hello, I’m Berin. I am a freelance writer, putting down words on things as varied as short stories, screenplays, recipes, productivity advice, and tabletop games. Those are all things that I love, and I enjoy working with and promoting fellow bloggers, writers, editors, and publishers who share those interests. My other passion is working with groups that assist the poor and the homeless. This is my way of trying to be the change I’d like to see in the world, as well as paying it forward in honor of everyone who has ever helped me in large or small ways. I currently live in Albuquerque, New Mexico with my wife, the incredibly talented artist, crafter and educator Katie Kinsman, and our small army of cats.

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